Elon Musk unveils fancy new Tesla battery — ’cause existing batteries “suck”


We live in a world where I can say: “Elon Musk, leader of the space transportation company SpaceX, just announced that Tesla will be churning out Powerwalls from its Gigafactory in the desert by 2017,” and it makes complete sense. If that doesn’t make you excited about living in the 21st century, I don’t know what will.

Early this morning, Musk announced his new battery business: Tesla Energy. His goal is to riddle the world with much-needed solar power storage devices that will usher us into a post-fossil fuel, carbon-zero future, thus saving humankind from climate apocalypse (so, um, what have you been up to this morning?).

Speaking to a packed room powered entirely by the company’s first line of batteries, Musk kept things pretty simple:

“We have this handy fusion reactor in the sky called the sun. You don’t have to do anything — it just works, shows up every day, and produces ridiculous amounts of power.”

But here’s the problem: the damn thing disappears…

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